Restarting My Sleeping Blog

Hello Blog,

Geez, it’s been a very long time! Almost a whole year to be exact! It’s funny that I started making an attempt to blog more when it turned Spring last year and here am I doing the same thing now. ha. I was just reading over the last posts about feeling bad about putting Ty into his new daycare and its funny because he’s going through the same thing right now.

Alright, so why this sudden burst of desire to blog? For a long time I wanted to start blogging again, but time really permitted it. Then I realised that if I spend less time looking at “educational” YouTube videos then I’d have more time to blog. Yes, I’m guilty of being addicted to YouTube.
I’ve sort of adjusted to my new routine, although life feels pretty hectic still. But anyhow, I want to channel some creative energy somewhere. Honestly, my daily hum de hum of life is stressing me out and I’m finding less joy in things that I normally find enjoyable (i.e. running, yoga, cooking) so I thought visiting this little spot occasionally might help me find my joy in life again by having a space to empty out the thoughts in my head. Somehow this makes sense in this brain of mine.

So where do I start?! Ty started a new daycare a month ago and he’s finally getting used to it and enjoying himself there as of a couple of days ago. Well, actually he has been enjoying himself from about a week into it, but he finally doesn’t make a big fuss when I bring him in and since yesterday he runs in his room all excited to play with the toys and friends. After I get him settled (public daycare requires hands on parent work so there is a little routine I need to do daily that takes 5-10mins depending on the days) he says good-bye to me without even turning around to look at me from whatever activity he’s doing. Heartbroken just a little. In the coming days I’m certain I will elaborate more about the pros and cons of this new place. But for today I’ll keep it short, sweet and positive. He’s used to his new daycare now YAY!

Whats up with me? From this year I started teaching 2 prenatal yoga classes and 2 postnatal classes. For the pass 2 years I only taught 1 prenatal class and maybe once a month I subbed for “Yoga for Athletes” class. Teaching 4xs a week has its challenges. I like to prepare my classes well before teaching and it takes a little bit of time. Of course, there are days when I just teach on the fly, but I generally like to run through what Im going to teach and have a specific theme/focus for the class. So my evenings the first few weeks have been filled with filling out whatever Ty’s new daycare needs me to fill out and prepping for my class. I feel like I have zero down time. But who am I kidding…teaching yoga IS my down time. And I kid you not. I love it! Prenatal yoga is going really well. I have full class on a consistent basis and for the first time ever I actually made something to contribute to our finances last month, ha. Even though it’s a VERY SMALL contribution, hey I’m allowed to feel pretty proud of myself, no?
Postnatal yoga has been slow. I was nervous about teaching it since its my first time to teach it, but when students arrive its very rewarding. One studio (I teach at 2 different studios) has students consistently and they are blast since they’ve been coming to my class during pregnancy so we know each other well and its like hanging out friends and having good laughs with cute crying bundles around.
The other studio is still going to take time to draw students in I feel. It’s a little disappointing when no one shows up, especially because I do put though into my classes (and time), but I think I need to be more proactive about advertising my class. And just be patient. My prenatal classes are thriving, so if those keep busy I will eventually get some new mamas who are interested in continuing their yoga practice after their babies arrive. Fingers crossed.

Now that the weather is warming up are looking forward to visiting our home in Shimoda more often and work on getting the place all cozy for us and guests to hang out in. The kitchen got a facelift. The wall was torn down so we have a sort of open plan now and a new beautiful wood counter. Cabinets and walls were repainted and now were looking into lights and putting in new flooring. The wall papers for almost the entire house has to be done and we need lots of appliances (fridge, laundry dryer) etc. Then theres the outdoor area. We have a beautiful and quite large amount of land and it was over grown with weeds, so thats finally taken care of and we can actually see the ground now. Grass will be planted soon and eventually we’d like to build a deck. So exciting! So much to look forward to, but also a little time consuming. Every time we go down to the house we spend a lot of time unpacking boxes, building furniture, shopping, etc so were looking forward to a time when we can just enjoy the house.

I don’t know why exactly (actually I do), but I suddenly don’t have as much joy in running any more. Last year I went pretty crazy with my running and unfortunately I think I even developed a slight hamstring issue. I was really enjoying running last year and ran hard and strong. I made pretty big progress as far as speed and stability goes and I was highly motivated. My body felt great to run, I lost weight, I had tons of energy and then poof this year that motivation is gone.  Number 1 reason is pure exhaustion. Ty keeps me up a lot at night and with his new daycare schedule and my yoga classes, I feel like I’m constantly rushing everywhere and when I run on top of all that, I feel like I’m a little hamster running in a wheel.  I rush to take Ty to daycare, then I rush to get my run in, I rush to get ready to teach, I rush to yoga class, I somehow calm myself and teach a non rushed class, then I’m rushing back home or rushing to pick up Ty. I rush all my meals. Then theres still my to-do list in the evening after Ty goes down and man, I just feel too busy. So this is where my personal yoga practice has really spoken to me lately. I feel my body and mind benefits so much more on the rare days where I just don’t run and instead focus just on yoga. My focus on running lately is highly driven by my weight loss efforts (stress and exhaustion makes me gain weight unfortunately) and its just not healthy. It goes against everything I teach in yoga to listen and respect the body. I want to switch my focus of running for weight loss to running for health and for the pure joy of moving my body. For everything, I need to change my thought from weight loss to vibrate health. Health and happiness is my focus from this Spring. I want to walk and look my talk. Right now I feel like a hypocrite. I feel like my life is a little lie, so its time to take action. To be honest, raw and completely real. It’s time to listen and respect my body and my mind. Through this I hope I can find a healthy and joyful way to run again like last year when man, running was just AMAZING!

And with that I’m signing off to spend some time on my mat before picking up the toddler.

Namaste and peace to everyone!

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