October 13th 2014

Hello dear blog,

Sorry, I abandoned you. At my defense, you did give me some technical difficulties the last time I tried to blog by making my entire post disappear suddenly. That didn’t really inspire me to go back to blogging. Well, here we go again.

I’m not quite sure how I want go go about blogging this time around. I thought about doing something a bit more informative and educational with yoga tips etc, but I decided I will just play it by ear. I’m just not organized enough to put together an informative piece, but its not completely off the table. The issue is photos and/or movies. I think they are easier for when it comes to explaining things such as yoga.

I think I’m going to be blogging more as a journal of sorts to figure some things out and to grow more as a person/adult/mother/wife. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and I really want to go forward in my life in a positive way. I hope this space can be a safe way for me to babble to figure things out and/or to document somethings.

Body Image

Right now, I’m in a bit of a rut. First time in a long time where Im really struggling with exercise and healthy eating. I was telling my friend the other day that my body feels so foreign to me. Clothes that used to be comfortable on me aren’t comfortable anymore and its concerning. I feel heavy, but not exactly unhealthy. I’m still pretty strong. I have stamina and I recover pretty fast from hard workouts. Still, something isn’t feeling quite right. I’m having a hard time listening to my body’s cues of hunger and satiation. This often results in me overeating. Feeling frustrating. Feeling negative towards my body and that often results in emotional eating. Its a cycle I’ve been struggling a lot this year and my weight has creeped up. I don’t weight myself. I go by how my clothes fit and how I feel. My running and yoga has suffered and as a result I don’t enjoy them as much. I have trouble sleeping and I find myself craving foods that should have no place in anyone’s diet (I’m talking to you fries!)

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Time to start cutting back on the junk. Let me just be completely honest that I’ve been a pretty junky vegan recently. Sure I still do eat a lot of veggies and fruit, but I also eat way too much of junk. My body is screaming at me to stop. I’m eager to feel vibrate and healthy again. Last year I was running great and I had tons of energy. I felt confident and looked forward to activities that I now shy away from.

I recently took a couple yoga workshops and I was so self conscious of my body that i just simply couldn’t enjoy myself. This is really sad. Not only do I want to feel healthy, but I also want to embrace and love myself no matter what. I can’t let my appearance hold me back in life.

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What I am quite fond of and what used do wonders for me are positive affirmations. My affirmation for today is: I forgive myself for eating the wrong foods and I transcend all feelings of unworthiness.

I welcome tomorrow and its new beginning for me.

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Good night Monday.

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2 thoughts on “October 13th 2014

  1. Mia says:

    What a beautiful post! Must be something in the air cause I`ve been going through similar feelings, could be age, could be cause I`m not working, I don`t know. But I joined a weight lifting group, starting at the bottom and have a looonng way to go but I`m proud of myself for taking the first step of action. Now I just need to stay motivated and committed…the hard part.

    ” I forgive myself for eating the wrong foods and I transcend all feelings of unworthiness.

    I welcome tomorrow and its new beginning for me.”

    Such wise words, thank you. You`re not alone, the other day I cried about how I look, silly but it`s not uncommon. What matters is that we can pick ourselves back up and move forward.

  2. artsyduct says:

    Darn i left a huge comment and then t didn’t post. Basically u hit the nail on the head with how I’m feeling these days too! So out of sync with body, over eating etc. Super props for sharing, we are all not comfortable with our bodies 100% of the time and it takes so much effort! Looking forward to more posts.

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